Ko! Ko!! Ko!!! Koooooo!!!!
Keeeere o! Keeeeeere o! Keeeeeeeere o!
Oh House owners! Strangers! Children! Oh Elders!
Listen close, my fellow Nigerians too,
For there is a tale that needs some ridicule,
Gbam, it is true!
It is the story of Ajaga Ban, a man of daring boldness,
Who decided to remove subsidy, like a twist of harsh coldness.
Feeeew, fuel soared, and our pockets bled,
Goods and services followed, prices burjed as they spread.
The untold hardship, the misery it brought upon us all,
Was as painful as the morning after a heavy late-night brawl.
But wait, what is this? A letter from our dear leader,
Asking for money, promising to be our nation’s feeder!
Eight thousand Naira a month to ease our struggling plight,
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, how can this be right?
Eight thousand Naira, a sum not fit for a destitute worm,
To feed a nation, it’s truly a laughable scorn.
With prices skyrocketing, and wallets turned inside out,
This gesture of generosity has filled us all with doubt.
Oh, Ajaga Ban, you’ve surely lost your wits,
To think this paltry sum could heal our broken bits.
Do you take us for fools, with empty promises so cheap?
Or is this a cruel joke, to make us weep and weep?
Oh, how we’re meant to marvel at your supposed benevolence,
When the reality is a farce, just a waistless pretense.
For it’s clear as day, that this offer is but a sham,
A feeble attempt to deceive us, playing your grand slam.
So let us laugh, my fellow Nigerians, let us laugh away,
At this absurd, pathetic attempt to save the day.
We deserve better, oh Ajaga Ban, so much better indeed,
Not empty promises that mock us, as if we can’t see.
In the end, dear City Boy, remember this plea,
Mock us no more, for we crave a future truly free.
Ridiculous decisions, like this one you have made,
Deserve the laughter and scorn they have truly paid.
Ko! Ko!! Ko!!! Koooooo!!!! — sound of a gong.
Keeeere o! Keeeeeere o! Keeeeeeeere o! — Words uttered by a Yoruba Town Crier to call on the attention of villagers.
Gbam — sound made express an affirmative Yes!
Ajaga Ban — A Yoruba word and an English word forming a clause. The word, Ajaga means calamity. There are those who believe the clause satires the word, Jagaban, the title of the President of Nigeria.
Burjed — From the Burj